November 05th, 2018

10 Ways to Relieve Allergic Parent Stress Syndrome (APSS)

As you were perusing through the internet today I'd bet you didn't expect to find a reference to APSS aka Allergic Parent Stress Syndrome. Obviously this is a term we made up here at C4A; however, that doesn't take away from the reality that it really exists. Parents of severely allergic children often experience high levels of stress as they try to navigate the landscape of allergic living. This includes children with food allergies as well as those with severe allergies to things like latex, bee stings and venom allergies. 
We know that any allergic reaction can be scary for us and this is especially true for those of us who have experienced or witnessed anaphylaxis. We also know the dangers and how quickly a reaction can escalate. We also know a lot more than we think we do and that same knowledge is what can help us get through the daily issues we often face. Here are some tips you may find helpful :

1. Acknowledge your fears. Be honest with yourself and address the fears you have. Pretending they aren't there adds more hidden stress. Even when we don't realize we are stressed our body does.  Never be afraid to seek professional help.
2. Knowledge is a Fear Fighter!  You are smart. And in today's world, we have this cool thing called Google that helps us become even smarter. Don't be afraid to find sites that have proven research on all the most up to date information about managing allergies and how to treat them if there is a reaction. Our friends at FAACT and FARE have plenty of great information that is fully researched to help you. 
3. Prep Isn't Just for Meals!  So many do meal prep to get ready for the week and that's super! How about using those same prep skills to get you ready for everything else? If you're traveling,research all places along your path to ensure you can find safe foods and emergency facilities if needed. Preparation helps to kick fear in the butt! 
4. Allergy Managers Needed! Teach your child to manage their allergies early. Of course they will need your help but they have to be an advocate for themselves. They can double check you and you can double check them. Giving them some of the power (though you're still watching) can help you calm your own anxieties. 
5. Stress is Contagious!   We always say kids do about as well as we do. Be careful not to project your own anxieties and fears onto your child. This will then have a boomerang effect and make your anxieties worse thus adding to your stress levels. 
6. Rest !  Without proper rest anyone could have stress issues. As parents of allergic kids we are often up late at night baking allergy friendly cupcakes, prepping allergy friendly meals and more. You have to get some rest! Portion out your time wisely so you have time for your body to relax each day. 
7. Practice Self-Forgiveness.  It's easy for us to blame ourselves for lots of things when it comes to any child and definitely with allergic children. Maybe you can't buy all the latest and greatest prepared snacks because you're on a budget. Maybe you once almost missed something on a label but thank goodness your kid is safe. Go easy on yourself. This is a tough road we are on and everyone is doing the best they can. 
8. Get help!  We can't stress this enough. There has to be someone, a family member, a friend and in some cases paid help that can give you a break at times. If you don't have an individual to help, reach out to a support group in your area. Many of the parent groups lean on each other for help. You can find a list of these here. FAACT Support Group Finder
9. Exercise matters!  Some think they have no time for exercise. The truth is, we all have and extra 30 minutes in our day we can dedicate to doing something. Many of us have tricked ourselves to believe it's impossible. Try to start small with a 30 minute daily walk. Take the kids with you if you must. They may even open up to you about some things that are on their mind. 
10. Be kind to yourself! You my not do everything perfectly and that is simply ok! Give yourself a real break. You can't be all things to all people all the time. So maybe some people in your life don't understand how you and you kids have to live to make room for food allergies. They may not get it and your relationships may not be what they used to be but THAT'S OK.  The focus is to keep you healthy, you kid healthy and find a place of joy along the way.